i think everyone is pissed with me. including myself. i cant blame them for i made them pissed.




but for both of u. i would really appreciate it if u both stop driving me to a corner especially at these times. i know i made u both really angry and all that. i m really sorry. i really cant help but feel overwhelmed nowadays with concert coming up and then there's the usual pile of hw but this week there isnt much, chinese pt! AND stupid pft retest. i m doing nth for all these things. and now i m really trying hard alr. its a bit late. i know to like wake up to my senses now. but still. why didnt the both of you give me this one chance to prove myself that i can conquer all these. why werent the both of you more reasonable. i really hate it when u both threaten me. i know i m not like the best kid and i m not good at all. i m like the lousiest person on earth, but still will it hurt to give me this one chance? even if it really does infringe on some other things. i think i used infringe wrongly but nevermind. it's times like this when i really want to have a heart-to-heart talk and not some argument. but yet what we get is the latter. i know i m super unreasonable and everything. i m sorry. i just want to have this break from everything. i want everything to come to a stop. i just need a rest. and not additional stress from both of you. and yet that is what i got. i don't blame you for you both were right. i was wrong and i m not afraid to admit. it's just that i m really tired already. and i really need some rest. and so i need this time to do my work and everything so that i can like sleep early or smth tonight. i really wish you both will understand me. it might seem that i m wasting your money and i m indeed doing so. but i really hate it when i m threatened. i want to go. but the rebellious wenyi inside just exploded. i m really so sorry. SORRY.





therefore i hate myself.



my goal for now. to be the greatest loser on earth and not the most loserish loser. "Winners and Losers" is such an inspiring piece. thanks ms ng! thanks charlie brown!