Currently watching the LIVE EARTH concert on channel u :D and the 12 girls band or whatever they are called are performing. haha. i so evil. whatever.. but er they have 5 ppl playing erhu out of 12 ppl (: haha and there is this person soloing erhu now :D so pro. whoa and another person. oh okay they are taking turns... haha i slow. i really wonder hor how they can er put the erhu so comfortably at their waist there and stand and play. hmm and yangqin also standing. haha. afterall its a band. not a mini co. haha whatever. oh and they played molihua just now. but its not the guandong one. haha. i wonder what's the diff between guandong molihua and molihua.. other than the fact that they sound diff. hahaha whatever. haha (:


anyway. i dunno why but i was rather moody today. haha sorry hor.


haiz. and i seriously HATE conflicts. especially over this type of small things. ): i seriously dun like them. but yet they happen rather often. maybe once in two weeks? okay i dun really count them. haiz.


i m sad.


and i m feeling so loser again.
its like xi song is so much easier and i cant get it. haiz. i cant play fast larh. i shall try the way jiahui taught me before syf :D since it worked for changdi it shld work for this too and so far it worked for arnd 5 bars xD
but i still cant get the speed for the rest. today i was like lagging behind so so so much. and even my playing on zhonghu sucks so so so much larh. its seriously so nan ting): why cant i at least improve? abit? i m like the worst lorh. i dun wanna be. ): i want to improve. like by leaps and bounds. haiz. i think i shall stop complaining and do smth useful like prac lots and lots!


oh and i seriously CANNOT ever believe u again! u just caused it urself. u said u wld and in the end u so dint. and its not the first time. i dun believe u anymore. and i cant. and i dun think i will. how many more times are u gg to say u will but in the end dont? i know i dun really have a say and i cant like tell u to just come and expect u to listen to me. haiz. if u ever come here and see this. i really hope this doesnt continue okay? please i beg you. i m sorry if i forced u last time. but it cant go on like this. serious.


i m pissed. and i still m pissed. haiz. ):


and this headache and hunger is making me crazy. haiz.


i just wanna shout and cry and in the end everything turns out okay. but it will never materialise. shouting and crying wont ever help. as in they dun help in the way things turn out.will they?haiz. but then again i cant just run away. face it wenyi!