Just need to rant

Technically i should be frantically doing my OA2 script and ppt now, or like revising something or like going through my IT presentation script or like doing IT project. But instead of doing those 101 things i need to do, im here -.-

Dont know if i have mentioned this before, but whoever says that uni is a breeze compared to A levels is seriously joking. At least A levels was pure studying, not including PW la but that on hindsight, is actually quite manageable since there's quite a lot of time given and we were guided all the way and may wong was so damn helpful. Ok and not say i studied damn hard for A levels. I was getting damn lousy grades (and by lousy i mean really lousy like fail grades included) all the way till some miracle happened for A levels, which got me to where i am now. Not that im not grateful but sometimes i wonder if im really suited for this. Now there's like ONE project PER module at least, and some have deadlines within say 2-3 weeks even (or that we start late so there's only 2-3 weeks left). So it's like a major juggling act, and i dont even have a CCA lor -.- Sometimes i feel quite fail that i dont have a cca, yet im not making use of that additional time to like mug hard to get good results. Instead im slacking away (like now.) Everything is just getting to me now that it's the last week of school and there's still like projects due and presentations to be done. People matters are not any better either. okay i just deleted the entire chunk i typed -.- it's actually a damn trivial matter which made me feel like im very uncooperative and i have been feeling bad the entire day and trying to convince myself that it's alright and my role in that presentation is damn small and non consequential (which is true) so it's ok, while being somewhat stubborn and selfish in their faces. sucks to be the only person who doesnt stay in hall aka sucks to be me.
OH and i really hate those assumptions/stereotypes that rafflesians=damn smart. and people go all "wow" and "wah". Yes it's true that rafflesians are damn smart, but NOT all are. I am one of the few who arent. And when i say that im not, sometimes people will give the skeptical look and then i wonder if in their brains they are actually going like "wah so qianbian. act yi ge humble only". but really im not.
Everything just feels like an accident lol. Getting into RG, which got me into RJ and then somehow NBS. If i just got like a mark lower for PSLE or something i wonder where will i be now? Would i have taken everything for granted and slacked half my schooling life away? But im glad i enjoyed rg+rj days la, enjoyed so much that i have forgotten like 98% of my primary school life liao.

ok feels good to have ranted aiz. all the insecurities appearing again i guess. never will disappear lol.

GOAL: PULL UP LOUSY GPA. IT'S NOW OR NEVER, REALLY.
hardworking wenyi will possess the lazy one who's typing this now, somehow.